1. The idea of getting your ass out of bed, dressing up and stepping out of your front door is just
2. When you take public transport, you can’t help but think:
3. You’re on your way to meet a friend and then you get a text from her saying she’s brought a tag-along.
This is your reaction:
4. You find yourself praying that plans get cancelled all the time.
5. When you get invited to a house party, you pray to God they’ve got a pet so you can act busy and not interact with actual human beings.
6. When people tap you on the shoulder, or try to do that cheek-kissy thing that white people love, or touch you in any way:
7. When someone whips out a camera and everyone squeals in delight, you’re just like:
8. You loovvvveee the internet. And the invention of mobile phones. And anything that keeps you an active member of society without actually having to be in physical contact with anyone.
9. But sometimes Facebook, or any other form of social media for that matter, really pisses you off.
10. In fact, this is you when scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed:
11. And your face when you see couples posting mushy crap on each other’s timelines:
12. You’re cool with small group outings or one-on-ones, but when your friends drag you out of your house for a party, you’re just like:
13. And when people go up to you and ask: “Why so glum, chum?” Or anything to that effect, you fight the urge to tell them:
14. AND CLUBBING. OH GOD CLUBBING IS BASICALLY TORTURE
15. And when you see people in large groups at the mall or at the park being all loud and annoying, you mentally transform into a cranky eighty-year-old lady
16. Even when you go for networking sessions, all that goes through your mind is:
17. You have more missed calls than answered calls in your phone list. And when people ask why you missed their call you’re just like
19. When an extrovert talks about how much they hate people. You’re just:
20. And when people tell you how you should “get out more”, in your mind you’re just:
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, check out my latest blog entry: 36 Signs Christmas Is Coming!